Episode 115
Meet the Churchgoers
Clare's childhood crush. Danno's childhood calendar.
Much love and many thanks to announcer Moira Quirk.
Claire Serie and Dano, partners at the offices of expertise, engage in a lively and humorous conversation that revolves around their unique scheduling challenges and a new office hire. Dano has inadvertently been using a Chinese New Year calendar, which has thrown off their schedules, while Claire introduces Rachel Churchenhauser, their newly hired office manager and scheduler. Rachel, who comes with noble lineage and a penchant for punctuality akin to a German train system, promises to streamline their operations. Amidst their banter, Claire and Dano discuss the idiosyncrasies of their personal lives, touching on Claire's DUI past and Dano's gambling habits, and how these quirks intersect with their work environment. They also reflect nostalgically on their mutual past connections with the Churchgoer family, humorously considering how such interactions might have originally informed the concept of time. As they plan their next meeting, they decide to align it with the natural rhythms of their world, like the sighting of the Churchgoers, suggesting a lighthearted approach to managing their chaotic office life.
The partners of the Expertise podcast, Claire and Dano, embark on a whimsical discussion that blends personal revelations with business strategies. They explore their unconventional office culture, marked by Claire's drinking boundaries and Dano's gambling limits, and how these personal quirks impact their professional lives. The introduction of Rachel Churchenhauser as a new office manager adds a layer of intrigue and potential order to their chaotic environment. Their dialogue is peppered with cultural references and humorous exchanges, reflecting their open-minded approach to diversity and their reliance on unique organizational tools like bingo cards. The episode captures the essence of their partnership, highlighting both the challenges and the joys of working together.
Takeaways:
- Dano and Claire discuss cultural diversity and inclusion at their office, humorously referring to it as 'offices of DEI.'
- Claire has hired a new office manager named Rachel Churchenhauser to help organize and revamp their systems.
- The conversation reveals Claire's past DUI incident and how it has become a running joke between her and Dano.
- The duo often humorously digress into personal anecdotes, such as Dano's gambling and Claire's crush on Johnny Churchgoer.
- They use unconventional methods like bingo cards and Chinese calendars to keep track of their schedules, adding comedic confusion to the mix.
- The episode humorously portrays the chaotic yet endearing nature of Dano and Claire's partnership in managing the podcast.
Transcript
Thank you for calling offices of expertise, Dano speaking.
Claire:Hey Dano, it's Claire Serie, your partner at expertise.
Dano:I forgot this is the time for our usual weekly call where we get together and talk about all the business about the podcast.
Claire:Yeah, I can't believe that that fell out of your schedule.
Claire:Although that's part of what I put on our agenda to speak about today.
Dano:Yeah, I'm keeping my schedule.
Dano:I got a chinese new year calendar for a chinese Christmas gift.
Dano:It's just beautiful.
Dano:But the dates are all different, you know.
Dano:Oh yeah, my chinese apologies.
Claire:I love how we are really embracing all the cultures at the expertise offices.
Claire:We may as well call it the offices of DEi.
Claire:Except I was not drinking that one night and I just really wanna get my driver's license back.
Dano:Oh, that was a DUI.
Dano:Claire, you are our DUI hire.
Claire:Yes, thank you.
Dano:I think we get a lot of street cred for having a DUI hire and you know, I'm proud of it.
Claire:I'm so grateful.
Claire:I'm so grateful.
Dano:Well, I don't want you to feel like it belittles you.
Dano:You don't need to be grateful to anyone.
Claire:I only drink while driving too.
Claire:I mean, that's the thing.
Claire:I mean, I'm never drunk at the office.
Dano:Yeah, that's the thing.
Dano:If you have set boundaries on it, you know, it's like my gambling.
Dano:I only do it when I'm in a casino near a deck of cards or have any money in my pockets.
Claire:Right, right.
Claire:You've got limits, you've put your own boundaries on it.
Claire:Well, and I also appreciate the anger management classes that we have both taken so seriously.
Claire:Now we only get angry at.
Dano:At those classes.
Dano:So thank you for not getting angry with me about almost missing the call.
Claire:So Dano, I hope you don't mind, but speaking of hires, I have hired an office manager scheduler.
Claire:She just comes in and she does a workshop with us for a day and how to get the most out of how to revamp our systems.
Dano:So I ordered those chinese Franklin day planners for us both to be using to track our goals and our schedules.
Dano:Do you think she could help with that?
Claire:I wonder.
Claire:Even though I like that you're thinking, we both have chinese day planners, we will be in sync, but we're not going to be in sync with the rest of our culture.
Claire:So like the guests that.
Dano:Claire, you're just thinking small.
Dano:What is the biggest economy on earth?
Dano:Where is the biggest podcast listening population on earth?
Claire:China.
Claire:China.
Dano:Yeah.
Claire:Oh, this is interesting.
Claire:We're going to be going for a chinese listening audience.
Dano:Okay, great.
Dano:And after that, we can just go for Chinese.
Dano:I feel like I have diverted the topic, Claire.
Dano:And I wanted you to finish what you were saying.
Dano:So tell me about the new hire.
Dano:Is this a DUI hire?
Dano:Like you?
Claire:Yeah.
Claire:Her influence is not alcohol.
Dano:Oh, interesting.
Claire:Yeah.
Claire:She drives under the influence of the Lord himself.
Claire:Yes.
Dano:Wow.
Dano:This is gonna be good.
Dano:Around the office.
Dano:We really need that kind of bright light, that penumbra of goodness in the offices with your drinking and my gambling.
Dano:You know, we miss every Sunday the church goers holiday because of the chinese calendars we have.
Claire:I know.
Dano:So what's her name?
Dano:She maybe may indeed be getting us back on track, but I'd like to be able to address her.
Claire:Her name is Rachel Churchenhauser.
Dano:The famous daughter of Baron von Churchenhauser?
Claire:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Claire:She descends from nobility, just like Jesus himself.
Claire:Well, Jesus didn't like the Germans.
Claire:I think we know that.
Claire:But Rachel has really taken on.
Claire:She's like a german train system.
Dano:Oh, gosh.
Dano:Yeah.
Dano:And aren't they on time?
Claire:Right.
Claire:And so is she.
Dano:Well, has.
Dano:Has she given you any concrete declarations about how we need to proceed to smooth things out and be running like a finely tuned motor train?
Claire:Yeah.
Claire:Yeah.
Claire:She said she has an email here that says she wants to come to our office on August 9 9th.
Claire:That was.
Claire:Wait, that was that yesterday?
Claire:I think that was.
Dano:Oh, according to my chinese calendar.
Dano:Yeah, it happened three dogs ago.
Claire:Oh, gosh, I can't.
Claire:She's got.
Claire:This is a grid.
Claire:It's kind of like a spreadsheet.
Claire:I can't really understand.
Dano:That's a calendar, Claire.
Claire:What?
Dano:That is a calendar.
Claire:What are the boxes I'm looking at?
Dano:Yes.
Dano:Are there numbers in the corner?
Claire:Yeah.
Dano:Okay, I'm sorry.
Dano:That's a bingo card.
Claire:Okay.
Claire:That's it.
Claire:Yes.
Claire:That's it.
Claire:She sent me a bingo card.
Dano:We have to find all the things on the bingo card, and then our offices will be running perfectly.
Claire:Yes.
Dano:I love misses von Church goer.
Dano:What's her name?
Claire:Rachel von Churchausen.
Dano:Okay.
Dano:Yeah.
Dano:I grew up next to some churchgoers, so that was the name I was remembering.
Claire:I remember Johnny Churchgoer.
Claire:He was so cute.
Dano:So wait a second.
Claire:What?
Dano:You knew the churchgoers?
Claire:Oh, yeah.
Dano:Did you have a crush on Johnny Churchgoer?
Claire:I had a huge crush on Johnny Churchgoer.
Claire:I'm not even gonna pretend I worshiped his feet.
Dano:Well, he had a sister I had a crush on.
Dano:We could have double dated that.
Claire:Would be so much fun.
Claire:I wonder what ever happened to them.
Dano:They're still going to church, as far as I know.
Claire:Oh, that's a shame.
Dano:Yeah, they never leave, so it's hard to spot them otherwise.
Claire:Right?
Claire:Yeah.
Dano:Boy, oh, boy.
Dano:Talk about nominative determinism.
Claire:Wow.
Claire:Dano.
Claire:That's right here under b five.
Dano:Oh, we found it.
Claire:Okay, well, that's one on the bingo card.
Claire:I think she's not coming in for another week or so, so we've got time to fill out the card.
Dano:Perfect.
Claire:And then we present it to her.
Claire:But not in a way that it makes it look like gambling.
Dano:Thank you.
Dano:Thank you for bearing that in mind.
Dano:Yeah, I was going to give you ten to one on that, but.
Claire:Right.
Dano:No, you know, baby needs a new pair of shoes.
Claire:No, please don't say any of those things with church hasn't.
Dano:That's just my authentic gambling lingo that I really know a lot of, so.
Claire:Well, I'm sure it would be.
Claire:Make her blush.
Claire:You know what I mean?
Claire:So let's keep things on the up and up.
Dano:Well, thank you so much for taking care of that.
Dano:I know you've got to go, and I don't feel like we've got any other pressing business beyond filling out the bingo card.
Dano:But I do know that we need to schedule our next appointment, and I'm not really sure how we do that under the circumstances.
Claire:Well, let's just do it ourselves.
Claire:Let's make it tiger, tiger half ratified.
Claire:I'm available, then.
Dano:You know, Claire, I used to see Jimmy and Sally Churchgoer every Sunday, so I know that if I see them, it will be Sunday.
Dano:So why don't we plan our call for the next time we see the church goers go.
Claire:Okay.
Dano:I think this is how time must have started, that people observed natural activity and then began to make note of it, you know, and tie in with.
Claire:Yeah, I was just.
Claire:I was imagining myself as a neanderthal woman noticing Johnny Churchgoer walking by.
Dano:That brings out the neanderthal in all of us.
Dano:But please, next time, do not throw your feces.
Claire:Okay?
Claire:I'm sorry.
Dano:All right, Dan, so our next meeting is the next time we see the churchgoers going.
Claire:See you there, tiger, tiger, half rat.
Dano:Milk, milk, lemonade.
Dano:Bye.
