Episode 110

The “National Snowstorm at Witch Island” Expertease

Published on: 20th April, 2024

Or, the “Dan Harmonizing” episode.

Much love and many thanks to announcer Moira Quirk.

Your charmin ghosts are Danno Sullivan and Clare Sear.

Say, love the show so much that you'd like to leave a review? We'd appreciate nothing more. Click here, and let your expert review-leaving begin!

Got a request for a special expertise? Leave us voicemail with your questions or comments. Over at the website, you'll see the little microphone floating in the bottom-right corner. That's where your expert voicemail leaving happens.

uEhwdXQuz2RUYDgxyM9M

Transcript
Danno:

Why doesn't she answer?

2

:

Come on, Clare, pick up the phone.

3

:

Pick up the phone.

4

:

Clare: Hello?

5

:

Danno: Uh oh.

6

:

Clare: Hello?

7

:

Danno: Clare, is that you?

8

:

Clare: this is the officer's expert.

9

:

Danno: I can almost hear you saying

it's the Office of Expertise.

10

:

Is that Clare or is that some,

11

:

Clare: this, is Claire.

12

:

Oh,

13

:

hold on.

14

:

Sorry.

15

:

Danno: Whoa.

16

:

Clare, your,

17

:

Clare: oh.

18

:

Hello, Dano.

19

:

I'm sorry.

20

:

Am I, um, hydraulic lifter?

21

:

Yeah.

22

:

It's, it is getting stuck.

23

:

I don't know if it needs oiled or.

24

:

Danno: your voice was so muffled it

was almost as if it had compressed

25

:

you into a small box, Clare.

26

:

Are you all

27

:

right?

28

:

Clare: I just had to wait for the

hydraulic phone lifter to lift the

29

:

phone to my ear and mouthpiece.

30

:

That's how it works, Danno.

31

:

It's a hydraulic phone lifter.

32

:

It lifts the phone to me.

33

:

Danno: You know, you are hitting

right on the head, Clare.

34

:

One of the things that I really

needed to talk to you about

35

:

during today.

36

:

Oh, oh,

37

:

Clare: Hold on.

38

:

Danno, Danno, hold on.

39

:

just

40

:

Danno: There we go.

41

:

She's coming.

42

:

Clare, you need to get a one way

ratchet mechanism for safety on that.

43

:

It should not, there needs to be a

safety so it doesn't drop that way.

44

:

Clare: don't say the words on

your head because this has been

45

:

sensitized to voice commands.

46

:

Danno: it's voice command.

47

:

So if I say on your head,

48

:

Clare: Ow!

49

:

Pinch!

50

:

Okay.

51

:

All right.

52

:

Okay.

53

:

Please just be very

careful with what you say.

54

:

It's so sensitive to commands.

55

:

Danno: It's like saying Alexa.

56

:

Or, Hey Siri.

57

:

Clare: Hey Siri.

58

:

Sera.

59

:

Siri

60

:

Danno: Clare, just like that,

you have hit on the head.

61

:

One of the topics So that beautiful

harmony singing you were just doing made

62

:

me think, Clare, Tell me if I'm right.

63

:

Tell me if I'm wrong.

64

:

A podcast is mostly an audio event.

65

:

Clare: Correct.

66

:

Danno: I'm glad you agree with me.

67

:

It's really been bugging me because

most of the other primarily audio

68

:

events that I enjoy are things like.

69

:

Music, music that you listen to

through audio mode via your ears.

70

:

Clare: Right.

71

:

Danno: So here's where

I'm going with this,

72

:

Clare.

73

:

you know, I'm a big fan of the

Beatles, Das Beatles, as they

74

:

were known in my homeland.

75

:

Clare: Oh, yes.

76

:

The band.

77

:

You're talking about the band.

78

:

Danno: Uh, no, I'm talking about Germany.

79

:

Clare: Oh, oh yeah.

80

:

Germany.

81

:

Danno: Yeah.

82

:

My homeland.

83

:

And, uh, the, the band, the

Beatles was so popular there and

84

:

I, I grew up listening to them

85

:

Clare: in the cave.

86

:

Did you go to the

87

:

Danno: Kav, Das Kav.

88

:

Clare: isn't that where they performed?

89

:

Danno: Uh, they would come over from

the Cavern and Liverpool and they

90

:

ins, they were such budding stars, you

know, they would insist on Dos Cave to

91

:

be

92

:

set up exactly the same way.

93

:

Clare: So thematic, like

beetles are in a cave.

94

:

I mean, I just think that's really genius.

95

:

Danno: they stuck with

that for the longest time.

96

:

even as they gained more and

more popularity as Beatlemania

97

:

set in, you know, Shea Stadium

was set up like a giant cave

98

:

Clare: Right.

99

:

I think they would have done better if

they'd let themselves just perform and,

100

:

Danno: say that like you know

something about show business, and

101

:

I'll tell you right now, Clare,

podcasting is not show business.

102

:

when they were in the cave on the Ed

Sullivan show in:

103

:

had even thought to do something like

104

:

Clare: Well, because

you couldn't see them.

105

:

Danno: You couldn't see a thing, Clare.

106

:

The only thing you could see

was there were some of those

107

:

bioluminescent, animals stuck to the

108

:

Clare: Right.

109

:

Those bioluminescent snails

that were figured prominently in

110

:

the animated movie, Smallfoot.

111

:

That's just a little

piece of trivia that I

112

:

Danno: that, okay, yeah,

113

:

you're

114

:

Clare: fan of that Um, but Danno, so

this is bringing you around to The

115

:

Beatles were predominantly an audio event

because they they would only perform in

116

:

caves where people couldn't see them.

117

:

Danno: Yeah.

118

:

They were practically invisible.

119

:

So their audio just became superb, superb.

120

:

And that's what I want

for our podcast, Clare.

121

:

The thing about the Beatles

was, you know, not only did

122

:

they have the great, production.

123

:

of professional studios, but it

was really about those harmonies

124

:

between the performers.

125

:

And I feel

126

:

like that what we lack,

we don't lack it anymore.

127

:

That's all I wanted.

128

:

Clare: oh, our lack has been filled.

129

:

Danno: I want our lack, I want our

podcast to go out in beautiful harmony.

130

:

Clare: Well, that was a

simple request to fulfill.

131

:

Danno: Well, it's going to be harder

when we're doing the actual podcasting,

132

:

because there are so many more words.

133

:

We'll have to write up the

arrangements ahead of time.

134

:

Clare: I think maybe just the

cue will be to tell the guests

135

:

to say some words slowly.

136

:

And whenever they say a word slowly,

we just come in with a little bit

137

:

of, you know, doppelganger vibrato.

138

:

Danno: I cannot wait for our next podcast.

139

:

People are going to be so delighted.

140

:

Their ears will be tickled with delight.

141

:

Clare: Yeah, this is plus, you should put

a plus, on the, um, title with this one.

142

:

We'll put a plus on the,

episodes that have harmony.

143

:

like sometimes people will

put that word explicit

144

:

Danno: Right, instead of explicit,

we will include the word, harmonized.

145

:

Clare: Harmonized,

146

:

for

147

:

your pleasure.

148

:

Danno: Dan Harmon will love this so much.

149

:

Clare: This is going to be completely

harmonized, which means we'll probably

150

:

need to swear a little bit more too.

151

:

Danno: Right, right, right.

152

:

Clare: Swearing in harmony.

153

:

Oh shit.

154

:

Danno: harmony.

155

:

That was, uh, what do you call

it when two things are the same?

156

:

Clare: A homogenized.

157

:

Danno: Yeah, That was Dan

homogenized, not Dan harmonized.

158

:

Clare: right,

159

:

Danno: Pretty little Harmonize.

160

:

Clare: Pretty Little Harmonize.

161

:

Pretty

162

:

little

163

:

Danno: Harmon.

164

:

Pretty

165

:

Clare: Pretty Little Harmon.

166

:

Pretty

167

:

Danno: it's, Clare, the, the harmony is

beautiful, but the timing is terrible.

168

:

So, we're going to put star,

harmonized, not timonized.

169

:

Clare: timing it.

170

:

Well, Dan Harmon's timing is terrible.!

171

:

Danno: Pretty little Harmon.

172

:

Pretty little Harmon.

173

:

Pretty little harmonize.

174

:

Oh, it just became the Mecado

175

:

Clare: also became, Pizza

in the morning, pizza in the

176

:

evening, pizza at supper time.

177

:

You got pizza on a bagel,

you can have pizza anytime.

178

:

So you had one more item to be agended.

179

:

, Danno: I have such great news.

180

:

I'm so excited to share this with you.

181

:

you know the Hotel Splendide

down on Pavement Avenue?

182

:

Clare: Oh yeah, that place is sweet.

183

:

Danno: Well, it's been out of business for

the last 45 years, but back in the heyday

184

:

of the big bands, you know, it was a

sweet swinging place, just like you said.

185

:

Uh, you seem to know it intimately.

186

:

Did you go back in the heyday?

187

:

Clare: My family had a, a standing suite

188

:

Danno: Was it the Sera family that had

the haystand there during the heyday?

189

:

Clare: Yes, exactly.

190

:

Yeah.

191

:

Danno: Hey,

192

:

We used to buy hay, straw, flax there.

193

:

I did not know we had

that childhood connection.

194

:

How

195

:

Clare: Wow, you, you used

to buy hay from my family?

196

:

Danno: Yeah, that was

the, surely the heyday

197

:

Clare: I used to make hay.

198

:

Danno: When?

199

:

Clare: That whenever the sun shone.

200

:

Danno: because of a pact with an

Indian tribe, there is a Tax discount

201

:

available to anyone who can use that

building for, cultural purposes.

202

:

And I thought, what is more

cultural than a podcast that

203

:

goes out to the entire culture?

204

:

That's us, Clare.

205

:

I had a meeting last week with,

cultural attache for the Hotel

206

:

Splendide, Terry Olsen Stottier.

207

:

Clare: Terry Olsen's daughter.

208

:

She's very powerful.

209

:

Danno: Yes.

210

:

And, uh, I, I'm a little

nervous about even telling you

211

:

Clare: Oh my gosh,

Danno, what's happening?

212

:

Danno: we have permission to

podcast from the sky dome at the

213

:

top of the Hotel Splendide, three

stories above the ground, Clare.

214

:

Clare: We're taking the

podcast to new heights?

215

:

Danno: I know we're in a five story

apartment building, but to actually

216

:

go to the top of one of those mid

level high rises from the mid century.

217

:

and, it's free.

218

:

There's no extra

219

:

Clare: That's amazing.

220

:

So we passed the culture test.

221

:

I'm, I'm

222

:

Danno: Uh, they have not heard, they've

not heard any of our podcasts yet.

223

:

Clare: Dan, oh, this is really exciting

224

:

news.

225

:

Uh, I'm a hundred percent for it.

226

:

First of all, I love culture.

227

:

Second of all, I love heights,

although I am terrified.

228

:

I mean, literally terrified

of, you know, heights.

229

:

Danno: a simple solution for you.

230

:

We'll put your expanding telephone

chair in the basement so that even

231

:

when it reaches to its maximum

height, you'll only be up to the

232

:

level where we're actually podcasting.

233

:

Clare: Okay.

234

:

Well, Danno, you know, do we need

to think about what kind of topics?

235

:

I mean, because we need to be thinking,

reaching a worldwide audience.

236

:

Danno: Uh, yeah, now our, uh, our

reach actually decreases, when

237

:

we move into the Hotel Splendide.

238

:

Yeah, uh, they don't have,

uh, internet access, so

239

:

it,

240

:

Clare: so it's, it's a live show.

241

:

Danno: you and me, you know.

242

:

I'd be able to hear you, you'd be

able to hear me, and if we have anyone

243

:

else squeezed into the Sky Dome with

us, uh, you know, uh, We might have

244

:

Emily Horhound in for the squeezing.

245

:

Clare: Oh my, of course you're going to

have Emily Horehound in for the squeezing.

246

:

Danno, you know, I can't refuse to

show up to my own podcast, but I

247

:

just don't think that there's room

in a Sky Dome for the both of us.

248

:

Danno: you are talent, Clare.

249

:

She is nothing more than support.

250

:

And let me tell you, that

girl has got support.

251

:

Clare: Well, you know, look, I

don't want to think on any of the

252

:

negatives right now, cause this

253

:

is great news.

254

:

Danno: So there's so many pluses.

255

:

you know, there's the

roller rink in the basement.

256

:

So there's a lot of, leftover snack

foods that we would have access

257

:

to, uh, from mostly from the 1940s.

258

:

So these would be like rations,

, from the Navy during World War II.

259

:

Clare: oh, right, right, so those,

uh, MVPs, did they call them,

260

:

the little meal in a packet?

261

:

Danno: uh, inflatable dinghies also.

262

:

Clare: Oh, I love them, remember,

they used to open for the Beatles,

263

:

Danno: yeah, if we're lucky, we might

be able to get the inflatable dinghies

264

:

to play for us on one of our shows.

265

:

Clare: that would be magnificent.

266

:

This just gets more exciting, I wish, I,

you know, I mean, I'm already wishing, of

267

:

course, that people could hear this show,

268

:

Danno: well, Clare, I

just had a brilliant idea.

269

:

The building is so old that built into

the walls, they still have those, brass

270

:

metal speaking tubes so that you could,

you know, beckon a servant from the

271

:

Upstairs from, you just speak into the

speaking tube and the sound goes out.

272

:

It is like a precursor of

all this high tech technology

273

:

we're using for podcasting.

274

:

We could have audience members from around

the world stationed in each of the rooms

275

:

of the building at the Hotel Splendide.

276

:

Uh, so our broadcast would

go out over speaking tube

277

:

Clare: over speaking tube.

278

:

Danno: into each room.

279

:

The only thing is we'd have to

start each podcast by saying, Ahoy!

280

:

Clare: wow.

281

:

This is, it's, it's a little

bit complicated, but I'm,

282

:

I'm, I still, I like it.

283

:

I like expanding our,

284

:

Danno: great, so I'm asking you, what

should I tell Terry Olson's dot tier?

285

:

Clare: Well, I mean, absolutely say yes.

286

:

We can always cancel on the day.

287

:

Danno: Oh, perfect, yeah, um, you want

to just list out a couple of quick

288

:

excuses in case we need to cancel?

289

:

Thank you.

290

:

Clare: Oh, that's a great idea.

291

:

Yeah.

292

:

So absolutely.

293

:

We are all in.

294

:

We cannot wait to be there and do this.

295

:

and then on the morning of,

um, I, uh, I have come down

296

:

with a huge Allergy to brass,

297

:

Danno: Allergy to brass.

298

:

perfect.

299

:

Uh, like this, the speaking tubes,

you would not be able to speak into

300

:

them without your lips inflating.

301

:

Yeah, that's great.

302

:

Uh, so my excuse would just

be, um, I'm out of town.

303

:

I'm out of town.

304

:

Clare: It seems, uh, it seems a little,

uh, unprofessional to have forgotten

305

:

that you have the gig and just landed.

306

:

Or, oh, you're stuck out

of town, uh, some kind of

307

:

national emergency, a national

snowstorm on the island.

308

:

Danno: nat, national, on which Island?

309

:

Clare: Well, we're at the

island where you're vacationing.

310

:

Danno: No, no.

311

:

I was saying on which Island, because

that's how you would have a national

312

:

Clare: national snowstorm on which

island coming this week on expertise,

313

:

Danno: Oh,

314

:

can't wait.

315

:

Okay, Clare.

316

:

Well, this is all very exciting news.

317

:

Talk

318

:

Clare: Uh, it just all

makes so much sense, Danno.

319

:

Thank you for bringing us to new heights.

320

:

Danno: Ladies and gentlemen, podcast

listeners from around the globe.

321

:

Welcome to the expertise knowledge

podcast for people who like to get

322

:

their knowledge in podcast form.

323

:

We are podcasting live from the Sky

Dome at the top of the three story Hotel

324

:

Splendeed, just off Pavement Avenue.

325

:

my guest today is a dabbler in

the craft of witchery, and we're

326

:

going to talk to Clare Sera.

327

:

About the recent National

Snowstorm at Witch Island.

328

:

Welcome, welcome, one and all.

329

:

I'm Dan O'Sullivan, your host

on the Expertise Podcast.

330

:

My guest today, claims responsibility

for the recent national snow storm.

331

:

Claire.

332

:

Sarah, welcome to the show.

333

:

I'm

334

:

Clare: I'm so sorry.

335

:

Excuse me.

336

:

Danno: Emily, can we

get a, a glass of water

337

:

Clare: Well, it's really, it's

my, black veil on my hat keeps

338

:

getting caught in my throat

339

:

Danno: do not

340

:

Clare: I thought that the

SkyDome would be enclosed.

341

:

Danno: Oh, no, no.

342

:

It is open to the elements.

343

:

You know, that's how we first

experienced the national snowstorm.

344

:

for my listeners at home, self

proclaimed witch, Clare Sera is

345

:

here dressed very witch like,

covered in black from head to toe.

346

:

Clare, you noticed and, and

mentioned through the, uh,

347

:

speaking tube to our audience here

348

:

Clare: Ahoy.

349

:

Danno: the SkyDome is

open to the elements.

350

:

Since we've been here at the

SkyDome over the last five days,

351

:

we have experienced a panoply of.

352

:

Weather, the variety, the likes of

which we've never experienced anywhere

353

:

indoors, certainly, and rarely outdoors.

354

:

interest do the witches have

in controlling the weather?

355

:

Clare: Danno, which is such as myself.

356

:

And I would prefer from this point

on, if you do not add the moniker self

357

:

proclaimed to my title, um, Witches

such as myself do not, take any,

358

:

pleasure in controlling the weather.

359

:

We work with the weather.

360

:

We ask what the weather

wants and we guide its flow.

361

:

Danno: that's very, very beautiful.

362

:

I think of witches, pardon the

stereotype, as, um, self proclaimed evil,

363

:

Clare: See, I just, I just want

to point out that the, uh, you do

364

:

not need to add self proclaimed.

365

:

Danno: no, no, I understand.

366

:

You asked me not to refer to you as a

self proclaimed witch, and I absolutely

367

:

Clare: you.

368

:

Yes.

369

:

Danno: uh, are you born a witch or

do you choose to become a witch?

370

:

Is it like being Amish where you

have the opportunity to make up

371

:

your own mind or is

372

:

Clare: That's a very insightful question.

373

:

And I love this question

because witches aren't born.

374

:

They're made much like

an Amish barn is raised.

375

:

Danno: Yeah.

376

:

Much like a podcaster, you know,

Ira Glass was not born podcasting.

377

:

Clare: Well, no, I mean,

literally we're not born.

378

:

We are made and raised like an Amish barn.

379

:

Danno: Ooh, the unborn.

380

:

Let's think of a better term

for you than the unborn.

381

:

That's not, that sounds evil.

382

:

And I know you're trying to overcome that.

383

:

How about, um, the raised?

384

:

Clare: The Raised, yes, yes, absolutely.

385

:

We are The Raised as I am today in

this Sky Dome here at Hotel Splendid.

386

:

is that a raindrop?

387

:

Did I just feel a little bit

of, is that a little bit of rain

388

:

Danno: find it ironic that you're

acting surprised at something

389

:

happening in the weather.

390

:

Um, so, you were raised

391

:

a witch.

392

:

As a small witch, was that a, uh,

enjoyable experience for you, or did you

393

:

Clare: Oh, absolutely enjoyable.

394

:

No, no, I was raised by the sea.

395

:

And so for the first years of

396

:

my life, I was a sandwich

and I enjoyed that

397

:

Danno: Uh, Danno, Danno, this is Emily

Horehound chiming in you asked me to just

398

:

cut in whenever there was a pun that would

not be able to be broadcast, so I just

399

:

wanted to let you know that, your guest,

uh, seems to have uttered a pun that

400

:

we simply just will not be able to use.

401

:

So you were raised by the sea?

402

:

Clare: yeah, by the sea.

403

:

and

404

:

things would go awry, much like,

pastrami between two slices,

405

:

Danno: Uh, excuse me, Danno, it's

Emily again, just, uh, I wanted to

406

:

compliment you on how that sweater

brings out the sea foam color of your

407

:

eyes and just let you know that there

was another pun that was, uh, uttered

408

:

and perhaps maybe needs to be excised.

409

:

Clare: now, I mean, this is what led

to us being used by the National Guard,

410

:

Danno: yes,

411

:

this was a very surprising connection

that, the buttoned up tight uniformed

412

:

National Guard would bring in these

self proclaimed witches to, uh,

413

:

well, you tell us what happened.

414

:

I know that the, uh, inflatable

dinghies had been performing,

415

:

, at one of those USO shows.

416

:

Clare: well, we were on one

of the off islands, of course,

417

:

that, really belong to no nation,

418

:

Danno: And could we just interject and

explain off islands to our listening

419

:

public, this is something that only

the United States does right with

420

:

the off islands.

421

:

Clare: yes, they, they provide

their National Guard, for

422

:

services for the off islands,

423

:

Danno: and then for the on islands.

424

:

Clare: on this particular

off island, my sisters and I

425

:

had, established a community.

426

:

Danno: so, had you and your self

proclaimed witch sisters, oops, sorry,

427

:

had you and your witchin sisters,

uh, set up under the auspices of

428

:

the National Guard, or was there

a clash between the two groups?

429

:

Clare: we weren't, we

are, an autonomous body.

430

:

of which in women,

431

:

Danno: You witching folk, you

witching ladies, you witching women.

432

:

Witching woman harmonized with me,

Clare, you got away in the sky.

433

:

Clare: Does harmony mean

that we sing the same notes?

434

:

Danno: that's called Dan Harmonizing.

435

:

Clare: So Dann harmonizing

is like a one note

436

:

Danno: Yeah.

437

:

Yeah.

438

:

Like Dan, you know, it's

just one note, one word,

439

:

one syllable.

440

:

And thank you for playing along.

441

:

You know, that's something we're

trying with all our guests on

442

:

the

443

:

Clare: I see.

444

:

Hmm.

445

:

Yes.

446

:

Danno: for a minute.

447

:

Clare: So, uh, we had created our, a cove

448

:

Danno: a coven in a cove?

449

:

Clare: yes, we were the cove coven,

450

:

Danno: So there was a, cove on

the island and you created a

451

:

coven in the cove?

452

:

Clare: we were a coven

that, lived in the cove.

453

:

And of course, because of the

elements of the wind and the rain,

454

:

Danno: You must've needed

to stay warm, maybe with an

455

:

oven.

456

:

Clare: did have an oven, the

coven has an oven in the cove,

457

:

Danno: Got it.

458

:

Yeah.

459

:

So all these men are coming over,

bringing crowds to your island.

460

:

That must have been a mess for you

all, where you'd been so accustomed to

461

:

living in harmony with nature and peace.

462

:

How did you adapt to that situation?

463

:

Clare: Well, we didn't adapt, I

attempted to do the most peaceful yet,

464

:

pushy, uh, approach possible with these

men and I gave them the cold shoulder.

465

:

Danno: Now I'm guessing that when a

witch gives someone the cold shoulder,

466

:

that is not a figure of speech.

467

:

Clare: No.

468

:

Danno: So this was the

shoulder away from the oven,

469

:

Clare: Yes.

470

:

And so when I gave the cold

shoulder, well, my sisters

471

:

naturally felt it and joined me.

472

:

So now

473

:

there was a circle of cold children.

474

:

Danno: a shoulder in plural.

475

:

I forget that, that you self

proclaimed witches have to

476

:

pluralize using Old English tenses.

477

:

Clare: yes.

478

:

Danno: so this Arctic wave is emanating

from the children of the Wiccan women.

479

:

W O M Y N.

480

:

W

481

:

O

482

:

Clare: That's, thank you.

483

:

W O M Y N.

484

:

I'll say it again.

485

:

Danno: Wa min.

486

:

Beautiful.

487

:

Thanks again for, uh, participating

in the harmony experiment.

488

:

Clare: So there we were,

it, it had happened,

489

:

And I wouldn't even, I mean, I feel

like you're hyping this up to create

490

:

some kind of good versus evil.

491

:

We were just reacting in the moment.

492

:

we offered the cold shoulder as a

peaceful, we don't want you here.

493

:

We do not want your overt

494

:

Danno: And yet it was that gathering

of the coldness that spawned, the

495

:

only worldwide snowstorm that has ever

existed in the history of the globe.

496

:

Clare: And that's what sent the

National Guard you know, nobody's

497

:

even sure to this day what happened.

498

:

The snowstorm was so heavy, so quickly.

499

:

And it just, it was just

a world of White Danno.

500

:

Now you've got National Guards

arriving on all sides of this island,

501

:

Danno: But One of the members of the

Inflatable Dinghies, all of whom were

502

:

enrolled in the military, perceived

that the witches had given up the

503

:

land and had moved toward the cove.

504

:

It was lead guitarist, John Davidson,

with an American flag and planted it

505

:

right in the center of your coven's

home base, and proclaimed that land

506

:

for the United States of America.

507

:

And I for one, Clare, say God

bless Lieutenant Davidson.

508

:

God bless that rockin guitar soloist.

509

:

Clare: But, Danno, you can't just

come to an island where people have

510

:

already taken ownership and plant

a flag and now say it's yours.

511

:

That's just not how

512

:

Danno: Clare, you say that, but

if I can just unfold this Rand

513

:

McNally Atlas of the world.

514

:

This is the newest edition

as of, uh, last week.

515

:

Clare: Right.

516

:

Danno: All right, so let's zoom in.

517

:

Clare: you're

518

:

Emily, could you the paper.

519

:

Danno: Clare, if I look here, I see

which island with the United States flag.

520

:

So you say they can't

do it, but they did it.

521

:

Yeah, but Danno, see, here's the thing.

522

:

So now they're claiming which island, our

own off island, that we had previously

523

:

claimed as theirs, and they tax us, you

know, which is, like, what, what, what

524

:

are, we're not bringing in any money.

525

:

We live off of coconuts and dead souls

I mean, do they provide any services?

526

:

No.

527

:

They take our money, but they

provide no services, so how are

528

:

we part of the United States?

529

:

We don't even get to vote.

530

:

That's the American way, Clare.

531

:

Clare: Oh, I guess we are part of America.

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode
Be First to Know

Be First to Know

We send out funny newsletteer every now and then.
Let's Keep In Touch!

Sign up to stay informed on the latest news.


Listen for free

Show artwork for Expertease - Knowledge, Not Comedy

About the Podcast

Expertease - Knowledge, Not Comedy
The World's Most Expert Experts
Probing the depth and dumbth of topics so un-interesting, we can only change the subject almost immediately. Expert comedy writer, Clare Sera, and expert comedy writer, Danno Sullivan, bring their expertise to other, unrelated expertises.

About your hosts

Danno Sullivan

Profile picture for Danno Sullivan

If this area is left blank, it will use the team members default biography. If this area is left blank, it will use the team members default biography.

Clare Sera

Profile picture for Clare Sera